In a dispute that's captured attention for its blend of grief, humor, and defiance, a Colorado family is challenging a local cemetery's order to alter a shared headstone honoring their two deceased brothers. The headstone, featuring prominent middle finger gestures as a nod to the brothers' irreverent spirit, has been deemed inappropriate by cemetery officials, leading to black tape being placed over the images during a recent family visit. The sisters of the late Ryan and Timothy Geschke, who designed the memorial to reflect their brothers' close bond and playful personalities, expressed outrage at what they see as an unnecessary intrusion into their mourning process.
Ryan Geschke, aged 35, passed away unexpectedly on October 5, 2021—a date that coincided with what would have been his older brother Timothy's 43rd birthday. Timothy had died the previous year, in early 2020, just days after the initial COVID-19 lockdowns were implemented across the United States, according to his obituary. The brothers, known for their tight-knit relationship and shared sense of humor, were laid to rest side by side in a Colorado cemetery, their graves marked by a custom headstone that the family meticulously planned to keep their memory alive in a personal way.
The headstone itself is a striking piece of memorial art, modeled on one side after a tree trunk with a small statue of a squirrel holding an acorn perched atop it. Family photographs, including images of Timothy, Ryan, and their extended relatives, are embedded just above the engraved family name. Flanking these elements are the controversial middle fingers, which the sisters describe as emblematic of the brothers' bold, unapologetic outlook on life. The site is often adorned with the brothers' favorite beverages, a touching ritual that underscores the family's ongoing connection to their loved ones.
This winter, during a routine visit to pay respects, Heidi and Holly Geschke were stunned to discover that the middle fingers on the headstone had been covered with black tape. According to a report by KOAA News5, the cemetery's manager, Cheryl Godbout, explained that the images violated the grounds' rules against inappropriate content. Godbout declined to specify the exact number of complaints received about the plot, stating that such details were not relevant to the decision.
The sisters, undeterred, promptly removed the tape themselves and have no intention of complying with the order to redesign the headstone, KOAA reported. Holly Geschke voiced her frustration to the outlet, saying,
“This is a symbol of love and Geschke blood through and through.”She emphasized the emotional toll of the situation, adding,
“To have a family come in after so many years and tell them that we have to redo this over again, nobody wants to do it in the first place.”
The family's resistance stems from a deep-seated desire to honor their brothers exactly as they were—flawed, funny, and fiercely independent. Timothy's death in the spring of 2020 came at a time when the world was reeling from the early stages of the pandemic, with lockdowns disrupting daily life and funeral arrangements across the country. Ryan's passing just over a year later added another layer of sorrow, especially given the poignant timing on Timothy's birthday. The shared headstone was conceived as a way to unite them eternally, reflecting not just loss but the joy they brought to those around them.
Cemetery regulations vary widely across the United States, often balancing the need for solemnity with families' rights to personalize memorials. In Colorado, state laws generally defer to private cemetery policies, which can include prohibitions on offensive symbols to maintain a respectful atmosphere for all visitors. Godbout's stance aligns with such guidelines, though she provided no further elaboration on the specific rule invoked or the timeline for compliance when questioned by reporters.
Holly Geschke elaborated on the disturbance caused by the cemetery's actions, telling KOAA,
“They’re in a resting place and now here we are being asked to disturb their resting place. It’s mind boggling.”The phrase has since become a rallying cry for the family, encapsulating their bewilderment at what they perceive as bureaucratic overreach in a deeply personal matter. Heidi, while less quoted in initial reports, has been described by her sister as equally committed to preserving the memorial's original form.
The Geschke sisters' story has resonated beyond their immediate circle, drawing parallels to other cases where families have clashed with cemeteries over unconventional tributes. In one notable instance from 2019 in California, a veteran's family fought successfully to keep a headstone engraved with a peace symbol after initial objections. Such disputes often highlight tensions between institutional standards and individual expressions of grief, with outcomes depending on local ordinances and public sympathy.
In speaking to The Independent, Holly underscored her resolve, stating,
“These are my brothers, I’m not going to let this go.”She indicated that if negotiations fail, the family is prepared to exhume and relocate Timothy and Ryan's remains to a more accommodating site.
“Whether this ends in our favor or not we’re not backing down on this. We’re making noise for the boys,”she added, signaling a willingness to escalate the matter publicly if needed.
The cemetery, located in an unspecified area of Colorado, has not issued a formal public statement beyond Godbout's comments. Efforts to reach additional officials for clarification were unsuccessful, according to KOAA. The plot's visibility—enhanced by the unique headstone—may have contributed to the complaints, though Godbout maintained that the decision was based on policy adherence rather than isolated grievances.
Background on the Geschke brothers reveals a life marked by close family ties and a penchant for humor that could lighten even the darkest moments. Timothy, the elder, was remembered in his obituary for his warmth and quick wit, qualities echoed in Ryan's own legacy. Their deaths, spaced amid global upheaval, left the family navigating compounded grief, making the headstone a vital anchor for healing.
As the dispute unfolds, it raises questions about the evolving nature of memorialization in modern times. With social media amplifying personal stories, cases like the Geschkes' could influence cemetery policies nationwide, prompting reviews of what constitutes 'appropriate' in diverse cultural contexts. Experts in funeral law note that while cemeteries have broad discretion, families can sometimes prevail through appeals or legal challenges, especially if no explicit contract violation is proven.
For now, the black tape incident has galvanized the Geschkes, transforming a private tribute into a public stand. Holly's determination to 'make noise' suggests the story is far from over, with potential for community support or media coverage to sway the outcome. The brothers' headstone, middle fingers and all, stands as a testament to their unyielding spirit—one the family vows to protect at all costs.
Updates on the situation are anticipated as the family consults with legal advisors and rallies supporters. In the meantime, the Geschkes continue their visits, beverages in hand, ensuring Timothy and Ryan's humor endures undisturbed. This clash between tradition and individuality serves as a reminder of the profound ways we commemorate those we've lost, often in defiance of convention.