In a recent article published on CNBC, child psychologist Reem Raouda shared insights from her extensive research on parenting practices that foster emotional intelligence in children. Raouda, who has studied more than 200 parent-child relationships, emphasized that simple, everyday questions can profoundly shape a child's ability to understand and manage their emotions. Her findings, detailed in a piece dated March 8, 2026, highlight how parents who regularly engage their kids in these conversations help build resilience, empathy, and self-awareness—skills that Raouda says are crucial for future success.
Raouda, a leading voice in conscious parenting and the creator of the BOUND and FOUNDATIONS journals—now bundled as the Emotional Safety Bundle—explained that many adults today struggle to teach emotional skills because they weren't taught them themselves. 'Growing up, many of us heard phrases like "stop crying," "calm down," or "be good,"' she wrote. 'Over time, those messages taught us to suppress feelings rather than understand them.' This generational gap, according to Raouda, leaves parents navigating uncharted territory, but she argues that children today can thrive through intentional interactions at home.
The core of Raouda's approach lies in nine specific questions that she has observed parents using consistently in her studies. These questions, drawn from real-world observations of over 200 families, aim to help children connect physical sensations to emotions, link feelings to experiences, and develop empathy for others. Raouda's work underscores that emotional intelligence isn't innate but cultivated through dialogue that creates a sense of safety and validation.
One of the first questions Raouda recommends is: 'What do you notice in your body when you feel [a specific emotion]?' She notes that children often experience emotions physically before they can articulate them verbally. For instance, a nervous child might report a stomachache, while excitement could manifest as a warm face or rapid heartbeat. 'Recognizing these sensations helps children build awareness of their emotional state,' Raouda stated, adding that this foundational step allows kids to demystify their inner experiences.
Building on bodily awareness, the second question encourages reflection on triggers: 'What happened before you felt that way?' Raouda's research shows that this helps children connect emotions to events, making feelings more predictable and manageable. A child might link pride to completing a school project or frustration to a playground disagreement. 'These connections help them understand their emotions and respond to them more effectively,' she explained, drawing from patterns observed in her study participants.
To nurture empathy, Raouda advises asking: 'What do you notice about how others are feeling?' This prompt directs attention to nonverbal cues like facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language in peers or family members. In her analysis of over 200 relationships, Raouda found that children who regularly consider others' emotions become more attuned to the social dynamics around them. 'The hope is that they become more aware that emotions exist not only within themselves but also in the people around them,' she wrote.
Shifting focus inward, the fourth question—'What are you proud of about yourself?'—challenges the common association of pride with external achievements like winning a game. Raouda's studies revealed that children often overlook personal qualities such as kindness or persistence. If a child struggles to respond, she suggests gentle prompts like: 'What did you do today that was kind?' or 'What was hard and you kept trying?' This approach, according to Raouda, fosters a sense of self-worth rooted in character rather than competition.
During moments of distress, Raouda recommends inquiring: 'What do you need right now?' This empowers children to voice preferences, whether it's a hug, quiet time, or company. From her observations, expressing needs teaches kids that their feelings are valid and communicable. 'Expressing these preferences helps them learn that their needs matter and can be communicated,' Raouda noted, emphasizing how this builds confidence in seeking support.
For self-regulation, the sixth question is: 'What helps you feel better when you're upset?' Raouda's research identifies diverse coping strategies among children, from deep breathing and talking to a parent, to hugging a stuffed animal or taking a short walk. 'Emotional intelligence includes learning how to calm the body during stressful moments,' she said. 'Recognizing these strategies helps children approach strong emotions with more confidence.'
Raouda also introduces the concept of positive self-talk with: 'What would you say to a friend who feels the way you do?' Young children, she found, benefit from parental modeling of supportive phrases like 'It's okay to feel this way' or 'You can handle this.' Over time, in the families she studied, kids internalized these messages, enhancing their resilience. 'With repetition, children begin using these phrases themselves,' Raouda observed.
Empathy extends to action through the question: 'How can you show someone you care about how they feel?' Raouda's work highlights simple behaviors like listening, asking 'Are you okay?', sharing, or offering companionship. In her sample of over 200 children, those who practiced these acts showed greater kindness in daily interactions. 'Children learn that empathy involves action,' she wrote. 'Caring for someone else's feelings often appears in simple behaviors.'
Finally, to bolster identity, Raouda suggests: 'What makes you special?' Parents can guide by mentioning traits like creativity, curiosity, humor, thoughtfulness, or bravery. 'This question helps children think about the qualities that define who they are,' she explained. Her studies indicate that recognizing inherent strengths supports a healthy self-concept untethered from achievements or comparisons.
Raouda's insights come amid growing recognition of emotional intelligence's role in child development. Organizations like the American Psychological Association have long advocated for emotional education in homes and schools, citing studies that link it to better academic performance and mental health outcomes. While Raouda's research is based on qualitative observations rather than large-scale clinical trials, her practical recommendations align with broader expert consensus on the benefits of open emotional dialogue.
Parents interested in applying these strategies can find Raouda's resources through her Emotional Safety Bundle, available online. She maintains an active presence on Instagram, where she shares tips on conscious parenting. As families navigate post-pandemic challenges, including rising youth anxiety rates reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, tools like these questions offer accessible ways to support emotional growth without formal therapy.
Looking ahead, Raouda's work suggests a shift toward parenting that prioritizes emotional literacy over suppression. By embedding these nine questions into routines, parents can equip children with lifelong skills, potentially reducing intergenerational cycles of emotional unawareness. As one expert in the field, Raouda's message is clear: the conversations we choose today shape the emotional worlds of tomorrow.